Posts from 01st May 2006 to 31st May 2006.
I've just been to the doctors again. Same story really, last blood test results are ok, no idea what's wrong with me. He's not allowed to label me a CFS sufferer just yet as it has to be 6 months, but he can't see it being anything else. GP says there's no reason to go sticking an endoscope down my throat as all the tests so far have shown my insides to be fine.
Anyway, as suggested by the consultant I went to see I've now been prescribed a month's course of the anti-depressant Amitriptyline in 10mg doses. This will hopefully help me sleep better and get me out of the flat mood patients inevitably get after feeling like shit for almost 6 months. :)
There are 3 hideous words on this box of tablets though... "Avoid Alcoholic Drink".
My good friend Andrew did the Zone 1 Challenge on Friday. Basically the idea is to visit all Zone 1 London Underground stations in the quickest possible time. Unsurprisingly, because he's a genious at memorising maps and transport facts, he and his team came first in the competition.
Having done the Alphabet Alochol Challenge
twice, I'm really disappointed that I'm ill.. I'd loved to have joined him for it.
Anyway, I felt that with all the recent depressing posting I've made regarding being ill, some interesting facts that make you think "Wow" might be in order.
Did you know that:
- All the escalators on the Underground (409 of them) do the equivalent of two round the world trips every week!
- Angel station has Eastern Europes longest escalator at 318 steps.
- Green grapes cause more accidents on the Tube than banana skins.
- Mosquitoes that live in the underground have evolved into a completely different species, one that appears separated from the above ground mozzie by over a thousand years.
- Only one person was ever born in a tube carriage and her name is Thelma Ursula Beatrice Eleanor - check out her initials. She was born in 1924 on a Bakerloo line train at Elephant & Castle.
- The most popular chocolate bar sold in Underground vending machines is Cadbury's Whole Nut.
- The peak hour for tube suicides is 11am.
- And rather intelligently you can regularly find pidgeons travelling from West Ham in east London to central London on the tube in order to get more food.
Time to get healthy and join that list as being the first person who completed the Alcohol Alphabet Challenge in under 8 hours.
With encouragement to take the £30 and hundreds of miles trip to visit Uni friends Chris, Andrew and Richard this weekend, I threw myself onto a train and hoped for the best.
It was refreshing, as I'd been promised by colleague, parents and friends. It was nice to get out and see some friends in uncommon surroundings. Nice to get out of the flat... before I go even more insane.
It was disheartned though, quite upset and demoralised. This isn't because the rather abismal Finnish entry won the Eurovision Song Contest over other superior entires... I in fact rather enjoyed Daz Sampson's UK entry this year. It was catchy and for rap rather a good track.
Neither was my upset due to losing £5 on the ESC sweepstake we had. The four of us each having six entries pulled out of a hat and putting a fiver into the kitty, to go to the one who got the winning entry.
My frustration came instead from the disappointing fact that just one day of activity, going into Solihull for lunch, the pub for a couple of games of pool and a few drinks with a bit of playful drunkeness on Saturday night absolutely killed my energy. I collpased into a heap in bed after watching the ESC realising that no matter how good I feel for a few days run working from home, any small use of energy still makes me feel like shit.
The annoying thing is I know if I drink to drown my sorrows at the lack of improvement in my illness in 6 months, I'll just feel worse. I need some escape from this bollocks! :(
I had a bit of a crap night a couple of nights ago. What with this ongoing illness, missing out on party invitations and girls forgetting what they'd said to you and promtly going off with new dates I sort of got drunk and gave up. I realised that I'm starting to feel quite down with no light at the end of the tunnel. It was especially depressing to get the blood test results back all negative (again!) as I'd started getting my hopes up that the consultant's ideas of one or two more tests would shed some light on this whole thing.
I received the bill through for the consultation and it was £150. I can't work out whether I think that's expensive or not. These doctors are highly qualified and I respect their incredible knowledge and am happy to pay sums like that for their services. But then I also feel as if I'm no further towards a diagnosis. But then that might just be that it's looking more and more like ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and I really don't want to admit defeat to the diagnosis process as that'll mean I'm accepting feeling like this for anywhere from months to years.
I feel like shouting and screaming and complaining about it (how emo does that sound! :-)) but I know it won't help. And what's more annoying is that lots of friends have offered to do things for me if they can help, but there's little that does help. I'm fed up!
Escaping to the warm shores of Spain for a cheap week's holiday relaxing in the sun sounds like an incredibly good idea at the moment.
If you know nothing of World of Warcraft, switch off now... With 4 Guild mates, I went to the Zul'Farrak instance. We were at the boss with lots of shallow graves around it and for some strange reason whenever looting those graves spawned mobs, they would target me.... So we recorded it.
The resulting video is available for you here: http://www.kloopy.com/fun/TLC-ZF.avi
(Encoded in XVid
I'm getting really fed up of this now. I'm generally a fighter through rough times and up to now I've tried to view this whole illness thing as a bit of excitement and interesting first person view into the extended testing and diagnosis route that the NHS employ. But now, I'm done with it all.
On Sunday evening, I was invited up the hill from my flat to the pub, a 5 minute walk. When I arrived, I was very faint headed, dizzy and nauseous. From a 5 minute walk!!
If I eat anything more than a snack I get into that awful feeling of sickness and being totally spaced out.
And it's affecting my sleep even more now too. I'm not being refreshed by sleep and getting off to bed is difficult. I was in bed not long after midnight last night and didn't finally get to sleep until some time after 4am.
So, I've had the consultation with this private doctor. He was really friendly and we talked through everything right back from the start in early December. He asked lots of questions, probing various areas of my symptoms and then checked up on any swelling in my tummy. In the end he agreed with the GP that I'm not psycologically putting this on in any attempt to feel like this (if only it were that easy to solve) and has sent me for 9 more blood tests. If they come back negative, I may be sent for an endoscope thing down my throat to take a look at my stomach. After those avenues are done, the consultant conceeded that it's looking very much like CFS/ME.
Just got to find myself a bus to get over to Lister Hospital for these tests, now.