I'm so bored. The book I wanted to pack I've accidentally left on my beanbag, my laptop has on charge in it and I've read the whole bloody on-board magazine. I know... I shall ask the lady to my right if she wants to play Paper Rock Scissors.... Yes, you lady. Stop looking at what i'm writing.

I'm currently sat at Southampton Central with a Virgin cross country just leaving. It was meant to go down to Bournemouth but switched directions here because it was 53 minutes behind schedule. This huge delay, we were told, was caused by a "fatality at Banbury". This ended up causing huge problems here, two platform alterations and confused passengers... But the thing that gets me is that the person who threw themselves in front of the train at Banbury will never know he caused problems for the staff here... Oh, and there were no blood stains on the front of the Virgin train. Heh.

I'm sat here listening to Green Day wearing a brilliant uncontrollable grin. This weekend has been fantastic, absolutely ace. I don't think I could criticise anything about how it went.. it's been almost perfect.

I was really looking forward to seeing Placebo, since I love thier music lots. And they were stunningly good. Their set was great to watch and listen to, but unfortunately they didn't interact with the crowd much at all.

I think my favourite band we saw has to be Green Day. Their whole appearance was fantastic, the lighting and sound was soo well done. We were about half way back for their headline set on Friday, which is quite a way back. But dispite that, everyone around us was jumping around and getting really into it. Billie Armstrong (the lead singer of the band) got everyone going with his crowd interaction. Sooo fun!

The Darkness were also mostly good. Everyone was into them lots too, and they had a brilliant, "Fuck", "Cunt" thing going. Which was rather amusing. Unfortunately for them, they tried playing some new material and it didn't go down well. But they closed their set with a stunning fireworks display. They must have spent their entire pay on it, it was magnificant. And so well coreographed to the music, too.

We had pitched in such a good place. We were lucky to find a big enough gap for our 5 tents and gazebo. It was a comparitively really short walk to the arena from where we were, so we could easily pop back to the tent for alcohol or food. But it did mean we were close to the action for the Last Night Riot...

...which was absolutely insane. After the music had ended on the Sunday night, loads of people were feeling some strange urge to start loads of camp fires and burn gas canisters and aerosols, causing dozens of explosions which rocked the campsite, literally. There was one explosion particularly close to our pitch, which was fucking loud and quite frightening. But the most worrying thing was the mob running around shouting things like "BURN ANOTHER TENT! BURN ANOTHER TENT!".

Oh, and the campsite was cordended into areas (to give paths around the site) by bunting hung from poles about 12 foot high. During the riot, some chap decided it'd be a good idea to climb one of these poles and monkey along the bunting. But the bunting and electrical string of bulbs didn't carry his weight, they snapped and he fell the distance flat onto his back. He wasn't moving when he landed, so rather than get help, the mob just threw bottles at him.

Fucking mental! Oh, and we had Reading's Sunday lineup on Friday, which wasn't too bad, I don't think. This meant we got the Rasmus and 50 Cent (know as 29p over in England) first. They both managed full sets for us in Leeds, but Tim from Uni tells me that The Rasmus lasted one song and 29P lasted about 15 minutes before being bottled off stage. Wicked!

Oh, and I now have a couple of well funky hats, but no Leeds t-shirt or hoodie, because the official ones were a little crap. We wanted to get the ones that were being sold by plain clothed people wandering around the campsite. The bastards were there all weekend, UNTIL we actually wanted to get something and then they disappeared. Grah.

But still, what a fantastic time I had. There's so much I could talk about, but I think the whole festival experience is a personal one and there're so many in-jokes that wouldn't have any effect when told here. Absolutely rocking.

Can't wait for next years festivals!

I can't believe We're on to the last two acts now! It so shouldn't end! This place is amazing! Heh. I really can't think of anything to say from my phone... Especially since It's so cold and my fingers are numb. But i can't complain... The foods been great, the company has been great, the music has been absolutely phenomenal. The atmosphere rocks. Wow.

So We've managed to survive the first night. Despite the annoying people trampling over my tent in the night.

this place rocks. So much. The atmosphere is so amazing. And We've not even started the music. Will be heading up to the Village in a bit.

the bacon is too expensive here!

So... We start the weekend. But we don't. Heh. Fucking bus diversion means We're at the bus stop for no reason! Damn it. A huge hug and much love from all of us to Rich, who's on his way to give us a lift. Xxx

The brain is something I wish I knew more of. And this morning I'm left in awe at just how clever it is. An adult human brain weighs between 1 and 1.5 kilograms (Southampton pikeys appear not to be included in that average), however when suspended in the dense cerberospinal fluid (CSF) that protects the brain, it weighs roughly 50 grams.

Not only does CSF surround the brain, but it also protects the internals of the brain in all the ventricles, too. It is also, as name suggests, found in the spinal column. It's there to protect the nerves from the surrounding bones, the skull and vertebrae.

Your body produces 500ml of CSF in a single day, but what I find fascinating is that in the event of traumatic injury to the brain or spinal column such as a road accident, the body responds by producing more of this fluid. Too much CSF, however can cause increased pressure and permanent damage to the things it protects.

A little unrelated, but interesting nonetheless; At birth the humans skull is rather soft and it is sized as large as it can without causing undue peril on the mother during birth. As the child travels(?) through the birth canal, the skull is squashed and deformed. On birth, it then pops back into shape.

Another amazing thing about the brain is the whole issue of self-control of emotions. For example when feeling anger or upset at someone but trying not to lash out or be abusive, the brain is feeling one strong emotion, but at the same time trying to overcome this emotion. The whole way that emotions refer to each other, internally to the brain is outstanding. And it adds a nice twist to realise that I'm creating an emotion in my brain whilst I ponder about emotions "thinking" about themselves. Mad!

Which leads me, vaguely, on to what I really wanted to say... I was woken up this morning by a text message at about 08:10. I distinctly remember my dream at that point. I know where I was, who I was with and I can see the picture perfectly vividly. After reading the text and popping to the loo, I went back to sleep.

I was again woken, but this time by the post coming through the door. And again I remember the dream I was having very well. Although this time, it wasn't graphical, there were no images. I was on a telephone call to someone (and I know who it was). But I had invented an entire personality for them. I was having a telephone conversation with another character I had plucked out of the air and given life to.

Any how, I know I always find reading about other peoples dreams so boring, so I'll stop now. But I hope someone appreciates the stunning beauty of the brain I'm feeling this morning.

And to leave you with something. The story that we only use 10% of our brains... it's false.

This is a post from my phone. How cool! Heh. I'm going to be using this from Leeds I think. It's only two sleeps away now. Yay. I can't wait.

Heh. Alot of people know I hang around on IRC a lot. I just discovered a comprehensive list of all the nicknames I've used in the past 400 days. Some of them take me back to memories I'd rather not have whilst some of them make me laugh as I remember what I was doing that day. Anyhow, just thought I'd share them with you....

Kloopy|game, Kloopy|chipshop, Kloopy|R10, Kloopy|B, Kloopy|foodhunt, Kloopy, Kloopy|nothere, Kloopy|kitchen, Kloopy|zzz, Kloopy|lastexam, Kloopy|HOUSEVIE, Kloopy|bath, Kloopy|Board, Kloopy|B`ham, Kloopy_The_Eunu, Kloopy|work, Kloopy|gone, Kloop, Kloopy|awau, Kloopy|filmy, Kloopy|film, Kloopy|wet, Kloopy|SLEEEPIE, Kloopy|pub, Kloopy|filming, Kloopy|out, Kloopy|bmb, Kloopy|goneish, Kloopy|foodage, Kloopy|busy, Kloopy|meeting, Kloop|zedzedzed, Kloopy|lunching, Kloop|AwayLogPM, Kloopy|yawn, Kloopy|campus, Kloopy|laptop, Kloopy|garden, Kloopy|watery, Kloopy|GPRS, Kloopy|sleep, Kloopy|badmood, Kloopy|exam|pub, Kloopy|hunt, Kloopy|away\pub, Kloopy|exam, Kloopy|flatline, Kloopy|France, Kloopy|lunch, Kloopy|wetwetwe, Kloopy|scrubs, Kloopy|awta, Kloopu, Kloopy|awat, Kloopy|awya, Kloopy|revise, Kloopy|awy, Kloopy|fooding, Kloopy|Feeding, Kloopy|sven, Kloopy|nap, Kloopy|ASDA, Kloopy|phone, Kloopy|br, Kloopy|tree, Kloopy|restart, Kloopy|sleepies, Kloopy|uni, Kloopy|bbs, Kloopy|, Kloopy|swim, Kloopy|being, Kloopy|shower, Kloopy|snore, Kloopy|beb, Kloop|flatchest, Kloopy|comedy, Kloopy|gaming, Kloopy|away-i18, Kloopy|book, Kloopy|beercube, Kloopy|filmgone, Kloopy|shoawwh, Kloopy|food, Kloopy|findfood, Kloopy|Offline, Kloopy|away\Hob, Kloopy|union, Kloopy|fgagasg, Kloopy|filmage, Kloopy|brb, Kloopy|coding, Kloopy|sleepzzz, Kloopy|gotowork, Kloopy|i19, Kloopy|swimmy, Kloopy|tipsy, Kloopy|hungerf, Kloopy|deadoops, Kloopy|away\swi, Kloopy|fridge, Kloopy|zz, Kloopy|Karaoke, Kloopy|pubbage, Kloopy|skool, Kloopy|tehwork, Kloopy|TVing, Kloopy|exam8-[, Kloopy|pie, Kloopy|train, Kloopy|GRPS, Kloopy|un, Kloopy|z[x3], Kloopy|away, Kloopy|around, Kloopy|bbiab, Kloopy|atwork, Kloopy|awayzzz, Kloopy|K|BringE, Kloopy|scrabble, Kloopy|about, Kloopy|exam8-, Kloopy|cwk, Kloopy|beingbur, Kloopy|brekky

I've been spending the past couple of days doing a load of web coding and graphic design. Part of that work has been for a passport system for Planetarion.

I got sidetracked by the almighty power of Photoshop though. A couple of the images I've made are here and here. I can't show them all here because I'm under NDA, but still, I'm currently in love with Photoshop.

Spirits are up today. I feel quite well and I've caught up a load of sleep, which appears to have been one of my problems.

I'm also getting excited about Leeds. It's this week. Just four mornings away I'll be at Bramham Park. I've been listening to music that'll be played at the festival and I'm on one of those special highs that only music can put you on.

But I need to go and post Andrew his ticket, since he's driving. So I should get moving.

Right... Well. Going against the ethics I set out with when I first made this website, I've completely edited this post.

I realised that stirring up rumours like the one I was, for no real reason, is rather playground like. Other people might not realise the light hearted way I meant things, and they'll only apply the rumours to heightened and exaggerated versions of the story.

So, therefore, if you managed to read this post during the seven or so hours is was here, you're lucky. But you can ignore it. It was just a little prank.

The most brilliant thing now though, is that I'm off for a swim. I'm missed my swimming. :-)

So I met up with Clare (Uni mate) in London today, after watching the UK rowing team score another gold early this morning.

But the point of this post is just let you know that I'm back at my Uni house. I've been playing with a vibrator (which, incidentally, was not used with Clare and Rich) and I'm currently, as I write this post, wearing a bra.

The Image Is Here

I look bloody sexy! Yay. This is a rather odd sensation. *grin*

So, I've been accused of lying about my feelings. Whether I did or not, I'm not too sure. I'm tending towards "Yes, I did." but perhaps that's only because I was accused. Who knows. I think I know what I want, but I wish I knew for certain. It's a confusing place, my mind.

So, Catie is away until Christmas. She's off in Finland, as part of her Uni course. Which is such a cool experience for her, but I'll miss her. And Laura is off at half seven in the morning. I'll really miss her. She's wonderful.

This evening I experienced my first proper excitement about Leeds Festival. Green Day were playing in the pub earlier and it suddenly struck me that I'll be doing my first ever festival in less than 6 days! Yay!

I've spoken about my feeling down recently. But I hope you smile to know that, at least in the short term, I'm on a happy high.

My mood is currently; Severe Apathy.

I have nothing to say, other than to remark on the fact that I must have been extremely bored when I wrote that blow by blow account of my day a couple of days ago. How sad. :P

It's been fun wasting my time watching the Olympics. Even though, as a nation, we're generally shit. I hope I remember one or two facts from all this TV for the pub quizzes next academic year.

God, there I go again... rambling on about nothing, trying to get my mind to focus on other things for a change. Which reminds me, I've been reading a fair bit up on Buddhism. It's fascinating and I'm really interested in it. Which will probably come as a surprise to some people who know me for my complete agnostic beliefs.

Actually, I was trying to choose the correct word there, so I checked up on the definitions...

ag·nos·tic
- An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life with which Christianity and other religions are concerned. Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time.

a·the·ist
- One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

I'm not sure which I'd class myself as. I have views that mean I don't believe in a "God". But I'm not sure whether they're strong enough that I believe categorically that there is no God. Hence why I chose the term agnositc.

There we go... a post with an ounce of content. That's not bad, all things considered.

I didn't realise how much of a weight the whole Tamsin thing was on me. I've spoken to her, eventually this evening. And it's good to clear the air a little.

It makes me feel quite better to know that the punches and the sarky comments are on their way instead of just speculating about them in my mind. In fact, in a way, it's quite exciting. :D

I've also emailed Erin this evening. Something I've been meaning to do for about a hundred weeks too many. I feel so bad that it's taken me so long to email. I've no excuse to get out of this situation and that's the thing that gets to me, I guess. But still, I've done it now. It's another weight off my shoulders. Come back soon, Erin!

Today, I watched the Southwold and Lowestoft lifeboat show, taking 130 photos. It's a big show they put on anually. They fake a fishing boat on fire and send out the boats to rescue the men that throw themselves overboard. For some reason though, this year the big yellow helicopter didn't come to the rescue.

Today, I had two pints and a portion of chips in the pub at lunch.

Today, I've helped Mother with her jewlery and gemstone craft stall at Table Tops. She did well, sold about £250's worth of stuff.

Today, I emptied our shed, sorted out what stuff to throw away and what to keep. I then packed the scaffold tower and all the other stuff we were keeping back into the shed.

Today, I watched a fair amount of the olympics. Good on you Leon Tayler and Peter Waterfield, out Syncronised Diving team. They were rather good, getting us a silver medal, our first medal from diving in 44 years. One day into the Olympics and one medal received. Not a -bad- start.

Today, I cooked steak, chips, onion rings, mushrooms and peas for Dad and I. Yum.

Today, I still feel all exhausted and bored. I can't wait to get back to Southampton, to have a swim and see all my lovely friends. And I can't wait to get back to Hitchin to have a pint and see all my lovely friends.

I think I'll stop talking mindlessly now. Tata.

As we approach the fateful Friday the Thirteenth, I wondered whether the whole scarey thing about it was seen in the travel industry. Using the project I code at work, I searched for all flights from London airports to Alicante, a destination at random.

The cheapest flights for the next three days to ALC, incidentally, are with Monarch. On Thrusday we see their cheapest fare at £103, on Saturday the cheapest you can get there is £105. However, on Friday, you get a fantastic price of just £88.

Anyone up for a holiday?

In this post, I'll be opening up a little more than I usually do on my blog. I'm exhausted and want to vent. I shall be mostly honest about the things that are troubling me. But if you're not overly interested in my life or you don't like random ramblings, then I suggest you don't waste your time with this one... It's more a record of my emotions for me to read in the future. Call this one a diary entry;

Those who know me will really well and over a long period of time will know that I go through a lengthy cycle of ups and downs in life. For a few weeks I'll be having the time of my life, enjoying every moment and adding to my back of ever lasting memories. But then there are the weeks between where I feel crap, where nothing seems to go my way and very little amuses, entertains or cheers me up.

Tonight I realised that I'm going into one of my down periods. Perhaps it's just a case of male PMT, which I am a firm believer of, but things are certainly getting to me at the moment....

The issue with my 2nd year Uni results, where I feel there is no correlation between the work I've put into a subject and the mark I've received for it. I'm especially upset about Comms and Nets. But I shant go on about this, for I have talked about it previously.

There is the issue with Tamsin. The whole long distance thing just isn't for me. I find it so hard to "love" someone who I only see once in a blue moon. I hope she realises, as I said in my previous post, that I do like her lots and I do want to be a friend. But none-the-less, that's upsetting me at the moment.

Then there's also the issue with Laura, with whom I'm very close. Before she went away about 5 months ago, something between us was possible. But on her return, we had a chat and I was told, probably rightly, that nothing was possible between us. And that got to me, too. She's one of my best friends and I love her to bits for that. But it was wierd to have the whole conversation about the possibility of being something more.

I'm just feeling so drained at the moment. I've spent a week and a bit with my parents recently up in Southwold. It's been so lovely. But I've not had a proper chance to wind down and relax there. I've been taking a wall down, destroying three trees, doing a car boot, etc. Just as I was about to reach that nice chilled state, it's back to Hitchin and working for three days.

I'm under pressure at work to deliver at the moment. I'm working on revamping a huge part of the project I work on, and my boss want's it as soon as possible.

I think one of the major things that is pulling me down at the moment is the struggle to balance everything. I've got to make sure I spend enough time with friends in Southampton, Hitchin, Birmingham and other places. I've got to make sure I spend enough time with my parents. I've got to make sure I do enough work to keep up to date with my deadlines. And I've got to balance getting between all these places financially. Train travel is far from cheap in the UK, and it's a constant drain on my cash.

I realise and sympathise with others that their situations may be a million times worse than that, but the low points on the emotional rollercoaster of life are only relative to your own experiences, they don't often take other peoples down's into account.

I just don't know what to think at the moment, in many walks of life. But still... I need a big long hug, I think.

When it comes to those akward times when you have to say something important, it's really hard to get the right wording. I guess the whole nervous and anticipated nature of those types of conversations is why people prepare and rehearse their speech over and over before giving it.

I had the most perfect wording for my recent situation in my mind, but when it came to the moment, I stumbled. It pisses me off upsets me, because now I think she's taken the wrong end of the stick. I meant it in a kind way. It's best to say what I did now than leave it a couple of months. I just hoped I said it early enough not to damage any chances of at least a friendship.

I'm confident it was the right thing to do, even if it takes time to show. But you can never stop yourself from feeling evil and mean. Damnit.

I think I mentioned earlier this evening that I spent most of the day at the beach. I was topless, soaking up some rays and reading GEB.

But. Just before I dash off to get some sleep before I get up early in the morning to help my Dad do a car boot sale, I just wanted to say that I think I soaked up a few too many rays.

It's been a number of hours since I got back and the redness has really come out now. And I've never had breasts as pink as these before! Now if only I lived here long-term, I'd know where the parents keep the after sun... I'll just hope I don't turn in my sleep too much.

Firstly, I forgot to say... I was at a Comedy and Cabaret night on Thursday in the function hall on the Southwold pier. The first comic was an utterly appauling woman, the second was a bloke from London. His act was geared to my sort of age range so didn't go down too well with the oldies in the room. And the compere cabaret bloke was ear-piercingly awful. His singing was dire and he ruined almost every track he "sung" along to. It was nice to have an eveing out with my Dad though, made a nice change to do something with my evening in Southwold.

But anyway, I'm back in Hitchin this Monday to Wednesday. I'm staying in the Stevenage Ibis again on both Monday and Tuesday night. So I should really get round to organising something for those nights. Like the pub. The pub's always good.

Also, this is an open invitation, almost. If anyone wants to come up to Southwold Wednesday evening to the weekend (or perhaps longer), then there are 3 spaces in the car when my mother takes me Hitchin to Southwold on Wednesday afternoon. Don't let me forget to ask everyone on Monday night.

I've spent most of today at the beachhut. I paddled in the sea a couple of times and read a lot, too. But the thing I wanted to talk about here is that of the role of the father.

About 1048 weeks ago my parents were in in some bed, car or haystack and doing what they were, they agreed to and accepted the roles of mother and father for the rest of their lives.

So, you can imagine my surprise when my Dad today neglected his role and refused to join me on the beach to throw stones mindlessly into the sea. I was most upset and totally distraught.

It's disgusting to think that he values the book he's reading about his son. I really hope he doesn't think his days of nurturing and caring for me are over, otherwise the last shock will be on him.

[And yes, this post is only here because I know at some point my parents will read it. Hello to the both of you.]

It was lovely to wake up this morning lying in bed with the sun coming into the room. Southwold is such a nice place.

But the day of relaxation I was looking forward to was quickly dashed. Today, I have cut down three trees.

This was a planned thing, I'm not some sort of psycho tree killer. Their roots were threating to destroy the house foundations. So we're going to replace them all with two smaller semi-mature trees.

This was hot and sweaty work, all day. So this evening I had a bath. We have a fantastic new bath here. It's more a jacuzzi. 8 squirty bubbly jet things, a huge huge tub and much enjoyment.

So... If anyone wishes to come up to Southwold and share a hot soapy jacuzzi bath, you know where to get hold of me. *wink wink*

Last year it was lovely, the little batards were rarely seen. But this Summer appears to have brought the wasps back. It's impossible to sit outside, catching the evening sun whilst reading a book and sipping a nice cold beer... when you're Room 101 is wasps, that is.

The term wasp is the common name given to most species of hymenopteran insects (all but bees and ants). There are about 75,000 species of wasp that are known, the most common of which, is of course the stinging wasp.

Almost all of those species are parasites. They females lay their eggs on a target plant or animal and depart. The mother doesn't stay to tend to their eggs, they are left to develop, hatch and fend for themselves. The stinging wasp does not conform to this norm, however.

It creates an organised and densely packed nest of laval cells. They create these out of dry wood and bark along with their own saliva. An outer layer is created to provide protection for the entire colony. So they're clever things.

Regarding the common stinging wasp, when it comes to defending themselves, only the female's can administer a sting. They do this through their ovipositor. The males do not have stingers. Apparantly, absolutely no species of wasp will sting unprovoked and unless they are defending themselves or the nest.

If some colonies of wasp are disturbed, it's possible for more than 100 defending wasps can be released to protect the nest. Which frightens me. *Shudder*. The poison from a sting contains factors which release histamine, which basically breaks down the red blood cells.

Most humans react temporarily with pain and swelling, however 1% of the population are hyperallergic. And this means those fuckers can be lethal.

My Dad is hyperallergic to both bee and wasps stings, so I've had it drummed into me from the tender age of nil that these things are to be avoided at all cost. I've managed to get through 20 years of my life without being stung, so I've still no idea whether I'll be affected in the same way.

So I, or indeed you, could be one in a hundred that could die, whilst minding your own business with a nice book and a sweet tasting beer.

Hooray for parties. Was at Chris' - my housemate - 21st last night. It was rather fun, I enjoyed myself. Drank quite alot though and I don't think I was very "with it" by the end of the night.

But I forgot to text Laura by noon today, which means I have to abstain from alcohol for the whole of today.

To be honest though, I could do with a day off the drink, because of various partys, visiting friends and things, I've drunk every night for the past 8 or so, I think.