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Matthew Chapman
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Posts from 01st May 2004 to 31st May 2004.
Odds and Sods
   at 16:02 on Mon 31st May 2004
Yesterday was a really unusual day for me. Lots of things happened that I could never have expected. A complete and utter day of Random.

I was in Southwold for my Dads birthday this weekend, was wonderful to see parents again. Went to the Nellie but other than that pretty much stayed in. The house is looking lovely.

In the morning I got a text from Naomi telling me that Gordon was beaten up and in hospital. I hope he's on the mend now! Bastards. :/

On the train journey back to Southampton in the afternoon, I travelled through Liverpool Street. Bursting for a pee, I went down a flight of stairs to the toilet entrance. Twenty god damn pence to take a piss! I was (and am still) bloody shocked. I can't have spent more than a minute in there. That £12 an hour!!!! And they didn't even f'ing undo my flies or hold it for me whilst I went. Nor was I pampered with perfume on the way out. Shocking.

But on my arrival back in Southampton, Andrew, very kindly, had worked out which train I was on and was there to pick me up. Hugs for you Andrew.

Soon after that, Chris, Andrew and I were out playing Bowling with Adam and Kelly. I played apaulingly, I was upset depressed at my utter lack of skill. But it was good fun, none the less. Oh, and whilst we were waiting for Adam and Kelly to arrive, I beat Chris 2-1 in a best of 3 competition at air hockey. Skill.

Whilst there I got a phone call from Stuart, with whom I haven't spoken in an age. Which sucks really, he's a great guy. Damn me and my lack of keeping in touch.

We finished that at around 10pm, wanting to go to a pub for a drink. Due to the stupid 10:30pm licensing laws on Sunday. So we went in search of a venue with a late license, ending up in Yates in Southampton City Center. One of the bar staff randomly came up to me and said "You're from Hitchin, aren't you?" With a bewildered look, I responded afirmitively, to which he said "Yeah, you're from HBS.

Then to cap off the random talking to Hitchin people, I got a text from a rather drunken Jenni. I hope she's not feeling to rough this afternoon.

And I was also texting back and forth with Tamsin for parts of the day. I'm really looking forward to going up to see her now.

So, what a long post. All about one 24 hour period of which I was only awake 14. So, a random but very enjoyable day. There should me more of them like that one.

And later this evening, Andrew and I are off to see the new Harry Potter film. Review to follow.

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by Mac at 19:29 on 31st May 2004

Train Tickets
   at 13:28 on Fri 28th May 2004
You know, I've never been so tempted to dodge a train fare. I've just worked out how much the trains are going to cost me for all three trips I'm doing after the end of exams... It comes to a total of £108.65. It's so much money. So much. Christ. I hope people are grateful, heh. One of them is £43.75 alone. I couldn't believe that. At the union club on a Friday, that's FOURTY THREE pints, and enough for some sweets on the way home.

It's upsetting. Just like the exam I had today. But I'm choosing not to think about that. Just two left now, and one of them should be a breeze. Well, I'm off for a nice relaxing weekend revising! *whimper*

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by Andrew at 22:34 on 29th May 2004
Book early. Haven't I taught you anything this year? :/

by Mac at 23:19 on 29th May 2004
I saw the first episode of the 4th series of Coupling tonight - it was horrible. It's just not like the old days. Sob.

Comms, Ants and Nets
   at 13:40 on Wed 26th May 2004
I'm sat outside squinting to see my laptop screen in the gorgeous sun, trying to revise for an exam tomorrow in Communications and Networks. It's scarey. It's stuff I should know since I've been interested in it for years and years, but I fear I'll be struggling at half nine in the morning when it starts.

But I'm more interested in ants at the moment. I'm sat under my gazebo at the moment to avoid burning in the midday sun. The ants keep climbing up the gazbo legs, which is about 2.5 to 3 meters high. I feel sorry for them, since I presume they're just trying to find food. I tried telling one of them that there's nothing up there for them but they didn't understand. Poor things.

If anyone speaks Ant or knows how I can leave a sign for them at the base of each leg then I'd be quite grateful. Either that or name a decent AntKill product. They're right pests and we've had problems with them recently. Bast'rds.

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by Doden Gek at 01:55 on 28th May 2004
Amazing how the smallest of things can be cause for such contemplation,
Like me sitting here pondering how you’ve spelt the word ‘Navigation',
For it seems to me so clear to be a mistake of written letter permutation,
Yet your mind is somewhat strange and full of such wonderful deviation…

by Andrew at 22:33 on 29th May 2004
The ant powder is by the freezer, sprinkle some round the bottom of each leg.

New Website
   at 23:06 on Mon 24th May 2004
So. My first Exam. Not much to say about it, really. It was Theory of Computing. It had the potential to be really great, it's interesting. But me, being lazy, didn't get the most out of it. Could have done better. But could have done a LOT worse.

We'll see. On results day.

But I've modified the website a little. Looks a bit tidier. I'm not 100% happy with it, but it's close to what I want. So I think over the coming days I'll tweak it a little. Abusive comments welcome.

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by Mac at 11:48 on 25th May 2004
Nice design squire! Thanks for the link - I'm not sure if you're in my links section at the mo but I will go and add you now. Theory of computing was pretty evil. Roll on summer...

by Noctu at 16:06 on 25th May 2004
...There, you said you wanted abuse.

by Clare at 18:47 on 25th May 2004
Ooh! Pretty. :)

by Theo at 20:31 on 25th May 2004
tbh I prefered the previous design, although the new pictures are nice.

by Kloopy at 20:43 on 25th May 2004
Thank you to all who made this the post with most comments ever. :-)

I agree that the photos are nice. But as I say, I'm not totally happy with it. I want to get the white text (as opposed to grey) in a different colour, I'm just not sure what colour would fit all 22 pictures that cycle around the top.

And Mac, one of the sub-reasons I wanted to do this redesign was to include a links, to show my appreciation for others. :D

by Mac at 10:43 on 26th May 2004
Awww, bless your little heart :D Oh god, I know nothing about comms and nets.

   at 11:51 on Sun 23rd May 2004
Generally at the moment, I'm feeling like I'm a bad person because I'm so bad at keeping in contact with my friends from Hitchin. I miss them all loads!

But I got a text from Catie this morning inviting me up to visit her at Uni. She's so lovely. Going up for a few days, it's going to be wicked. Yay. Excited.

Post-exam weeks are shaping up to be quite excellent for me now. If anyone wants to fill the gaps in my diary, I'm free:

6th to 7th of June (or there abouts).
11th of June (Supposedly cleaning Macs house).
17th to 20th (or there abouts).
And mostly free after that.

[This includes you, parents. If you wish to see me, I'm afraid you'll have to book in advance. :P]

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by Mac at 20:22 on 23rd May 2004
I'd like to book you for the 11th - my house needs a good clean. :P

by Matt at 21:58 on 23rd May 2004
Chortle. I need to clean -my- house first. My housemates are starting to complain about the lack of washing up.... Oh and I've left a load in the washing machine since early this morning. Why didn't I put them out in the sun?!

   at 22:24 on Sat 22nd May 2004
I feel so stupid. On our girlie night, we went to get some girlie drinks. Little Richard and I are drinking Archers and Lemonade. Yay. It’s nice. But the thing I wanted to say was that when we got back from the offy, I went to open our front door with my swipe card for the ECS building.

Someone slap me.

Oh, and Ive sat here for about ten minutes now without saying a word. I'm using Microsoft Word to talk to everyone in the room.

Damn them... They say I'm lying... Apparantly I said a couple of words. Little Richard went to turn off my computer and I politely asked him not to.

Oh damn.... he now tells me he was only just puttin ghte disk in. What a bloody aste of my breath... back to Word.

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   at 18:22 on Sat 22nd May 2004
I've an aquantance(sp?)/friend on NetGamers whose into PHP too. He's also got a blog, like most people. But he's posted two interesting entries that I like. The first is a lovely poem which suits my mood perfectly. I have no idea if anyone else will appreciate it, but:

Please don't mention exams
Don't tell me about work.
The former I can cheat on
and the latter I can shirk.
Let me dream of summer
and lying on the sand
munching on an ice-cream
and holding someone's hand.

The second post brings up time management (specifically) for coursework and exams. I like the theory and I'll give it a go. Interesting ideas. :D Read him here:

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by Jack Hires at 03:09 on 24th Jan 2005
That's some good poem. Holding someone's hand is a very peaceful way to describe Summer. Now, what about this time management?

22 Extended.
   at 17:38 on Sat 22nd May 2004
In this case, it was a case of me not having told enough of the story. I know the basis to everything I write about, so it's not a problem for me. However, there are people I know, places I've visited, events that've happened and other facts that not everyone I know has heard about me. I guess it's my bad to think that everyone will understand what I'm trying to say when I reference one of those tidbits of information.

It's a relief actually. Because I was worried the outcome of this little misunderstand would turn events the wrong way. So, I'm happy that things are sorted and that I'm not in T's bad books. Once again I'm rather extremely looking forward to going up and visiting. Yay.

And tonight a few others and I are having a "Girlie Night". Info on tonight I -won't- supply, it's one event I -will- leave to your imagination. :D

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Catch Twenty Two
   at 11:14 on Sat 22nd May 2004
There is one inherent problem with blogging, on a personal level at least. The problem doesn't occur on weblogs regarding progress of a project or one of a technical nature. However, when, like me, there is some random guy in one corner of the internet spewing out crap every now and then, one can get oneself into a bit of a pickle.

You see, when you're blogging about feelings and emotions, you have to be quite selective about what you write. If you state your true feelings then people can get hurt. I realised this before I wrote my first ever post.

But the catch is that if you hold back on expressing yourself, you can miss out important stuff and people can misinterpret how you feel and what you're thinking. Which blatantly sucks.

But then I guess at least having a "diary" public, it means that people see some of your feelings and if they do have a problem with them, it gets everything out into the open.

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by Mac at 20:30 on 22nd May 2004
I think that the problem usually comes when people don't realise how much you hold back. You and me, we're professionals, we can't do doing with this emotion stuff in public :D
I decided to drop all the emotional stuff when I moved onto - if people want to know how I'm feeling they can give me a call. I keep my blog for talking shit about the things that entertain me - it saves on misunderstandings, even if it does make for quite a dull read. Ah well :)

Friday Night
   at 18:16 on Fri 21st May 2004
Without a care for exams or academic related business, I'm off to The Cube. It's School Night tonight. And I've got my hair done, I've donned a tie and I look about 12. It's all great.

I shall ensure lots of photos are taken. :D

Oh, and Chris and I just made some Ice-Cream in the kitchen. It contains about 6000 calories as loads of chocolate. Yum yum yum. I'll get some photos of that too, once it's frozen.

Everyone is dressing up for tonight. I'll get a group photo before we arrive there. :D

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by Matt at 19:15 on 02nd Jul 2004
Ignore this test.

Live Music
   at 09:06 on Fri 21st May 2004
There's something really special about live music. I don't know what it is, but you just can't get the same power out of a recorded track.

Live music provokes a great responce in me, I'm totally unable to be stressed, upset or anything similar after listening to the sweet sounds of a guitar or beautiful voice.

So I'm quite surprised that I haven't been to the Talking Heads before in the two years I've been in Southampton, despite numerous invites. We went last night and there were some amazing people playing, some real talent.

In particular there was a band called The Sways who played mostly chilled out rock. They had a briliant electric double bass though, looked and sounded fantastic.

But what I wanted to say is that it got me all excited. I don't think I've mentioned before in my weblog, but I recently bought a ticket to Leeds Festival. It was quite a hole in pocket, but it's going to be sooo cool. If anyone wants to join me (and Andrew, Clare, Little Richard, and a few other randoms I know) then go get a ticket. I can't wait! Yay.

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Cube photos
   at 22:56 on Wed 19th May 2004
Finally, I've managed to dig out the photos Big Richard took at the Cube the weekend Tamsin came to visit. Here they are.

Well enjoyed that weekend. \o/. Hehe.

I also enjoyed hearing about that purple powder that hit that Tony this afternoon. I wonder exactly what state the country would be in tonight if the powder had been antrax and we were now living without a PM. Interesting.

I also have something to talk about. Quite what it is, I don't currently remember. I'll rack my brains and get back to you.

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   at 23:53 on Sat 15th May 2004
You know. I think I was right. It's been a brilliant day. I've won a round of pitch and putt, I've watched Eurovision and taken part in a sweepstake (Lost abismally, I had Norway and Romania. A total of 21 points). But it was enjoyable. I really like today.

I received an email from Laura who is currently travelling round the work (Presently in Australia). It's made me realise how much I miss her. It was her Birthday on Tuesday and I didn't get to spend time with her celebrating. Sucks.

But at the same time, I'm really into Tamsin at the moment. I love her personality and she's in to so many activities I've not come across in my life in depth. So I can learn so much from her and she's really interesting. It's wonderful.

Oh, and a good friend of mine has just split up with her (now) ex. Which is a shame, he's such a great bloke. But that's also added an element of "wanting-to-look-after-ness".

So, yeah, all in all, despite the mind trickery this woman species seems to elegantly force upon us men, I've had a most brilliant day and I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Smiles to you all.

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   at 10:53 on Sat 15th May 2004
I got the SEG D5 in about 10 minutes late yesterday. It's such a relief. A weight off the shoulders. So, in true student style, we were at the pub drinking by 6.

I wanted to talk about today though. I woke up at about half eight and just laid in bed for half an hour. I didn't do anything. Just laying there, thinking about how cool today will be.

I'm feel really happy. No idea why, but I'm just in such a good mood today. The sun is out, the day is going to be beautiful. I've just watched Love Actually, so I'm in that silly chirpy mood one gets after watching such a film. I actually quite enjoyed it, in fact.

I've no idea what I'm going to do today. I've planned nothing but I know it's going to be a good one. Yay. *smiles*.

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Group Coursework
   at 08:42 on Tue 11th May 2004
So, I'm going to check with my personal tutor first, but I think my group are going to see the group coursework leaderers today to explain just why we've handed in such shoddy work and why it ended up being late.

Time for the brutal truth with them. No more hiding what we feel! Friday's meeting will also be interesting when we do the mark allocation.

4 days to go!

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by Clare at 10:23 on 11th May 2004
Sounds like fun - good luck with that! I can see a lot of groups having, hmm... interesting times with mark allocations! I'm just lucky to have landed a well-rounded and pleasant group.

Sigur Ros
   at 17:22 on Sun 9th May 2004
Attempting to use some bigs words; I think that if it is possible to fall in love with music, Sigur Ros have made me fall into a passionate infactuation. If it's possible to quanitfy this auditory responce, it's nothing short of an eclectic collection of beauty and overwhelming power.

If I had to give the music who topped my list of emotionally stimulating and moving music, it would undoubtedly be Sigur Ros.

Their soundscapes are positively the most stunning I've experienced. Their sounds come together around me to enclose me in a world in which there is no wrong. It's stimulating and mood changing.

And it plays in reverse just as well.

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Website Redesign
   at 17:38 on Sat 8th May 2004
I want to redesign my website. I've done so much work this week for Uni stuff, that I want to do something for personal gain. Does anyone know of any really pretty weblogs or other websites that'd server as inspiration for me?

I'm looking for a smart but arty style, probably. Anyone know of anything decent?

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by t at 14:31 on 09th May 2004 (not my own site) - this is like sex. except it's web design

   at 17:00 on Sat 8th May 2004
I forgot to mention, earlier in the week, my ecstatic joy when I heard on the radio that "tonight" in America was the last airing of Friends. I now look forward to the day when those who seemed to enjoy the drivel get bored of re-run after re-run. At least any future girlfriends can't sit me down and force me to endure it since I'll just remind them they've seen it all before. Brilliant. A wise decision made my an American at last!

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Homosexuality and Homophobia
   at 16:10 on Sat 8th May 2004
We've just been having a conversation on IRC about being gay and having gay thoughts. I just thought I'd share with you my thoughts on it all, since I've yet to find a bloke who really understands what I mean.

Most people who know me realise that I flirt with everyone and everything, despite their gender. Yet I'm straight and I don't fancy men. I've had and have plenty of close relationships with girls without fancying them or wanting to jump into bed with them. I can flirt, joke about and be totally relaxed with them, it's wonderful.

But when it comes to blokes, it's totally different. Absolutely different. Most blokes hate to be flirted with by other men. I guess it's part of the fun, when I flirt with my male friends. It provokes interesting reactions in some people. Why are men so frightened of having close relationships with their male friends? It's really silly and I think they miss out. It's nice to have best friends who you can do anything with, who don't feel uncomfortable with you being totally realxed.

Madness. I think I'd be better suited as a girl sometimes. It's just that I can't multitask.

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by pringlemonkey at 16:39 on 08th May 2004
i know exactly what u mean kloopy - and i'm pretty sure, i've done some flirting with u on occasions...despite one or both of us being in a relationship! Then again, i suppose we do share the rather special connection of having the same middle name! long time no see mate! hope ur doing ok. MJT

by Matt at 16:54 on 08th May 2004
Sir, nice to hear from you. Christ do I miss all our old lot from Hitchin. I'd do anything to go back and re-run the two years of A-Level again. I can't look back without grinning madly.

Hope things are going well for you, not too much exam stress and all that. :-)

Weekend Work
   at 15:17 on Sat 8th May 2004
I woke up at just after 8am this morning, thinking that I should get up and do some course work. Rolling over for 5 more minutes sleep, I ended up getting dressed and out of the house at about quarter past three. Wonderful. I felt refreshed and awake again.

Trouble is, now I'm sat down with my Java code in labs, wondering where to start writing up the design documentation, I'm tired and sleepy again.

I have absolutely no motivation. Shit. I'd rather go into town, get my hair cut, do some theraputic window shopping and just chill out. But I think I'd probably fall asleep on the bus into town. *roll eyes*

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Thursday Afternoon
   at 16:53 on Thu 6th May 2004
It's only Thursday afternoon?! I've spent every waking hour since Monday morning on this damned Group Project. I can't look at a line of Java without feeling physically sick. My mind is numb and I feel dead. I'm going to go now. 50 hours this week and that is half my entire budget for the whole 12 week project!

Swimming for me. Nice an relaxing. Then I think I'm going to go for a well earned pint. :-)


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   at 20:58 on Wed 5th May 2004
You know.... Coursework has one amazing ability. It can warp time. It seems an eternity since Monday 11am, when Chris and Andrew took Tamsin to the station. Yet it was only two days ago. I've done a total of 36 hours work since then, already. It's just mental.

I just wanted to pop here and say...

I Fucking Hate Java.
I FUCKING Hate Eclipse.
I Hate this workload.
I Hate the way time moves so slowly, yet I can't get enough done.
But most of all I Fucking Can't Wait For Friday!!! I will crash for the afternoon and Then Get Very Fucking Plastered!!

Where're we going? :)

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by Minty at 21:38 on 05th May 2004
What is wrong with Eclipse fuck face? ;)

by Mac at 08:04 on 06th May 2004
Eclipse is shit, it's shit but don't you know it. It does bad things like closing all the brackets I try to open. If I wanted them closed I wouldn't have opened them, would I? If I closed every door you opened, you'd be pretty pissed off!

by Matt at 16:52 on 06th May 2004
lol. I love you Mac!! :-)

   at 23:41 on Mon 3rd May 2004
I've just been reading the weblogs of a few friends of mine. One of them is finding their blog pointless and worthless because it doesn't make them feel better getting their feelings down in text and they don't get feedback from it.

But I think blogging should be compulsory for every internet user. I find with all my [FUCKING] coursework, that it's great to catch up with what people are up to and how they're feeling from their blogs. It is, of course, mightily less social, but at least you can still care about someone without having to spend hours talking to them. It's a good compromise.

Just my three cents.

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by Mac at 18:26 on 04th May 2004
If you don't blog you aren't alive. Simple. :D

by Yam at 11:27 on 05th May 2004

   at 22:08 on Mon 3rd May 2004
Christ, about two weeks ago, I had that moment of realision in which it dawns on oneself just how much work they have to do, and just how close the deadlines are. I also remembered back to last academic year, when I had that moment. Last year I let it get to me, I stressed out and failed to do anything. But this year I was determined not to fall into the trap.

I haven't so far. I'm stressed out, sure. But I'm ploughing through the work. I've decided that I'm going to do my best, not to try and do more than that. And so far it's working. I'm keeping a nice balance between play and work, and I'm not pulling my hair our -too- frequently.

I'm not just getting a good balance between work and play, I'm also not letting them merge. Right now I can think of many things I'd like to rant about from the past few days of working. But I'm not letting the stress from work spill over into my evenings.

I think also that this weekend was extremely welcome for me, mentally. After such a heavy week of coursework, I was feeling quite drained. But Chris (and Andrew), my housemates, had invited Tamsin down from their homeplace. I had met her, prior to this weekend, a couple of times before. But we really got on this weekend, we kissed a few times and generally had a great weekend. I quite fancy her to be honest *smiles*. It's really strange that the people I really like and get on very really with straight away never live near me. I not met anyone at Southampton Uni who has clicked with me on the same level I click with them that means we end up kissing on the first or second time we meet.

Oh, and it's the bad timing again. If anyone recalls me complaining about girls before, you'll know I love them/you to bits. But it's always akward timing. When it comes to me and women, they're always taken, about to go travelling, I'm sooo busy with coursework I hardly get an hour to relax before bed in the evening or something else. It's silly really.

Just a moment ago I was talking about not falling into emotional traps. So I'll stop before I start getting annoyed with myself that she's gone home. Now, where's my pillow?

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